Runaway Dragon ( Open)

(OOC: the internet ate my post last night ¬¬)

Jean had heard Kitty's debriefing to the rest of the staff and felt a pang of pain when she heard that Taji was one of the girls that had ran away. Not that she didn't care about her other student, but she had felt especially protective towards Taji. The shy girl had made Jean feel a strong surge of maternal instinct from the first couple of times they talked in private. Since then, she had tried her best to help the girl find herself and feel as comfortable as possible in the mansion. Jean knew that food and a bunch of memories weren't much, but it was the intention that counted, and she hoped Taji knew there were people in that place who cared about her. As a psychologist, the redhead knew that sometimes adoptees or kids in boarding schools like that often had trouble connecting with other people, be it their adoptive parents, tutors, teachers or even other people their age. Many students had trust issues due to their powers, but she had seen most of them overcome those problems when put in an environment where they were just like the others and not the freaky odd one out. Sometimes, when a student was too shy like Taji, things took longer and got even more complicated for those with painful backgrounds like that of the dragon girl.

As soon as Jean heard the news, she promised to go after Taji. She could use her powers to locate her and, the redhead trusted, make the most of the frail relationship she had steadily tried to build with the girl to calm her down and convince her to come back home. They probably had enough on their hands tracking the other missing student, the one with the more fiery personality, so it was probably a good idea to distribute the job like that. Besides, Jean had a personal interest in this girl and wanted to make sure for herself that she was OK.

With that on mind, Jean made a quick stop at Cerebra to locate Taji. Then, she took one of the mansion cars and drove out of town while combing the nearby area for Taji's mind signature. It didn't take the psychic long to find the right direction, but the traffic rules had forced her through a three hour drive before she felt the girl was close enough to relax a bit. She expanded her mental senses looking for Taji and sensed her pain. It made sense, as Kitty had said she was hurt. Jean winced and sped up, only stopping by briefly to buy a few supplies.

When the road came to a stop and there was no way to keep going other than by foot, she parked the car behind some bushes and started the hike towards the cave like place she had seen Taji in. "Taji, it's Jean," she projected inside the girl's mind. "I know you're in pain. You must be hungry too." She could sense the determination in her student about feeling like she didn't quite fit in the mansion. It pained her to feel that, but she pushed her own feelings aside and focused on what was important.

A minute or two later, she was standing at the entrance of the cave, trying to make enough noise to announce her arrival. "I've got some food and water in case you're hungry..." The redhead informed. "I understand if you don't want to talk to anyone right now and I won't force you to come back with me, but you need to get that wound treated before it becomes infected." Her mental voice spoke softly, as if it were afraid to spook a doe away. She was standing near the cave entrance holding a bundle in her hands. It was a thick couple of blankets she had taken from her bedroom in the mansion, a first aid kit and a bag of food and water that also contained a flashlight and matches.

Jean could pick up pieces of Taji's feelings through the weak and temporary mental link that needed to be established for her to send and receive the feedback of their conversation. Like before, this girl had managed to touch Jean's core and stir some long asleep emotions inside of her. She didn't know why at first, but then, as fragments of Taji's mind leaked through, Jean understood that she related to Taji in many ways. It was true that she had never been shy and was quite popular when she had first joined the X-Men but so much had happened to her since, that there were certain similarities between the two that Jean couldn't look past.

"OK. I won't go in then." Jean said with the faintest hint of sadness in the calm telepathic voice she had used. "But I have a first aid kit... I'll leave it here for you in case you need it." The redhead knelt near the entrance of the cave and put the blankets and everything else on top of them, on a rock. "It has some antibiotics that you probably should take if your leg gets infected, to make sure you don't get blood poisoning." She explained calmly.

"I also brought you a flashlight, some matches and a couple of comforters... thought you might need them at night." Jean continued talking, trying to buy some time. She didn't want to leave after driving all the way there. Especially not without telling Taji some important things, but she wouldn't if her student didn't want to hear. She could easily force her to listen, even brainwash her into going back to the mansion, but Jean was not that kind of person at all. "There's some snacks, canned food and five gallons of water in the paper bag." She sent through the equivalent of a sigh. "I'll leave now if that's what you really want, though there's something I'd like to talk to you about now that I'm not your teacher anymore." Jean said in the same sad, quiet mental voice she had been using all that conversation.

Relieved from the burden of the things she had brought for Taji, Jean had both hands to herself and she instinctively sought to touch one of the cavern walls with her left hand, as that wall was the closest to her, to the point she didn't even need to walk to get closer to it. For a moment, the redhead closed her eyes and felt sorry for both of them, because she understood Taji's pain and fears all too well. They mirrored her own and she had known what it was like to live in that hell for years.

Jean immediately heard Taji's thoughts being projected so loud it didn't even take any effort on her part to pick them up. Au contraire, it would have required an effort to block them out. A small smile of relief bloomed in her face, though her eyes sill looked sad. Ready to get in a bit further, Jean took the flashlight from the paper bag before doing anything else. Twisting an ankle at that point would be very inconvenient and plenty awkward, going to rescue someone and ending up needing help yourself...

"It's OK, Taji. I'm here. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." Jean sent telepatically, together with a wave of warm affection. "I'm coming in, all right?" Then she turned on the flashlight to see the floor and carefully walked towards Taji with a sad smile. It broke her heart to see her cry when she knew all too well how Taji felt.

Jean telekinetically placed the flashlight on the floor nearby, knelt by her and hugged the girl softly but protectively. "I know, Taji, but you can't hurt anyone here, so calm down." Jean murmured stroking the girl's hair softly. "Everything is going to be all right." She said confidently.

Jean herself felt better when she was holding Taji. For a moment there, when she was standing at the opening of the cave, the redhead feared she was going to miss the girl forever, leaving her to an unknown fate when they could have done so much to help each other.

The telepath picked up the dragon's voice and frowned in concern, but didn't say anything, just made a mental note to further explore that option when things were calmer. She didn't want to make a mistake that could upset Taji and get pushed away before she said what she wanted to say. Instead, she pretended that it was the girl herself who had said that and kept trying to calm her down.

"No... that's not... it doesn't have to be like that." She made a pause. "Taji..." Jean swallowed hard. "...do you know what the bird shaped statue at the school represents?" She asked with a ragged voice. Just thinking about that was so very painful, it took most of her conscious effort to keep it from her mind whenever she wanted to focus on something. Ignoring the buzz of other minds around her was something Jean had gotten use dot by now and was easier than before, sort of like living with five (billion) siblings who were watching TV and listening to radio at the same time in the same room. You got used to it.

Jean gave her a sad smile and there was so much pain in her green eyes, it was obvious the teacher did know a lot more than just what it meant. It was the kind of look that a mother has before having to confess to her kid something as painful and embarrassing as the fact that they're adopted.

"You're not my student anymore... so I can tell you." Jean said in a shaky whisper. She had never shared something like that with a young student before. It was both inapropriate and too personal but she was so alone, so isolated from everyone else at the mansion since she had come back... She swallowed hard again, trying to find the right words and fight back tears. "That bird is a phoenix... the mythological bird that resurrects from its ashes." Jean explained slowly, calming down enough so she could speak without her voice breaking.

"Years ago, before you were born, I was on a mission with the team. We had to save a space shuttle but things went wrong and there was no way we were going to make it back to Earth alive... then it came to me, an ethereal presence that said it was going to be all right, that it could help me save Earth from much more than just a shuttle crash if I let it become one with me..." Jean explained talking more calmly now, with her eyes fixed in a spot she wasn't actually seeing. It was as if it had all happened to someone else.

"I agreed and I got the team safely back to Earth... and died." Jean sighed and a single tear ran down her cheek as she wondered if it hadn't been better for everyone if she had just stayed dead. "But the Phoenix and I were forever bound together. It became me and I became it, so three years later I rose from my ashes, or rather, from the lake where the shuttle had landed and went back to the only place that ever felt like home." She made a pause and another tear fell. "Things had changed a lot around the mansion. Everyone had moved on and, even though they were happy to see me, my friends had new friends, my boyfriend was married and had a baby boy..." Yet another tear ran down her cheek in silence.

"They let me back into the team and I was more powerful than ever, but there was something wrong. Ever since I had come back, I had these new... urges. That part of me that was the phoenix wanted to experience it all, it craved emotions, the worse, more cruel, low and selfish, the better." Jean let out a little sob but managed to restrain herself and continue. "I had never been like that... you know me, I'm... me. And while a part of me was horrified at the things the phoenix forced me to do, I was forced to enjoy those cruel acts as well." Jean sighed and made a pause. "I hurt a lot of people, Taji. I hurt my friends, I broke up a family, married my old boyfriend Scott..." she shook her head in disapproval and sadness. "And it got worse... so much worse that my friends had to kill me to prevent me from causing any more damage... I..." Jean was covering her face with a hand by that point. "I could travel through space and not need air... I killed an entire world... a populated world and enjoyed it... I... I can still hear their agonizing voices in my head..." Jean had to make a long pause to recover herself.

"The Phoenix was still one with me when they killed me so, of course, I reincarnated again... and even though I sometimes could control the Phoenix and use its power to save lives, I myself lived in fear that some day I wouldn't be able to control it and its insatiable appetite would do to Earth what we did to that other planet... and the one thing that always helped me keep it together were my friends and the Professor. They were my family. They cheered me up and gave me something worth becoming stronger for, something worth fighting the Phoenix for. They listened to me cry and came looking for me when I ran away like you... because that's what family do, no matter how dangerous you are." Another sob escaped Jean's throat and now she was covering her face with both her hands, ashamed of all the things she had done and of having told a young girl about it.

"Several times I have come back and, painful as it was, they held my hand when I needed it and were strong enough to kill me when things got out of control... They even scattered my pieces so I wouldn't have to suffer anymore and could get eternal rest. I was begging for it at that point. They thought it was over and, so, that statue was built in my honor... but the Phoenix put me back together... and..." She felt terribly guilty for having told all of that and didn't dare to explain the last parts of the story. What was the use in repeating more of the same cycle? She probably understood it by now and, the rest of the story Jean didn't quite understand herself. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to scare you or burden you with all this... I... I never got to have any children of my own, but I love each and every one of my students and, believe me, when I say I do understand how you feel it isn't just an empty phrase." The redhead finally managed to calm herself down enough to lower her hands and look at Taji, fearing she might have scared the girl. "You belong in that school as much as I do, Taji." Jean said holding the girl's hand in both her own.

Holding on to something real helped the older woman to calm down and remember her place in the situation. Sharing had been therapeutic and, hopefully, made Taji feel understood, but now it was time to go back to being an adult. For the second time that day, Jean could pick up something else besides the girl's train of thought's general feeling. It was like a second presence that spoke with a different voice. That reminded her of someone else she knew. The little boy with psychic powers that she had started training not long ago and the man that only he could hear. That gave her the courage to break the rules and listen to Taji's mind more openly.

The pain and fear inside it were deafening and Jean felt terribly guilty for having told her such a scary story. In her eyes, it was obvious that her student's case was completely different as she was just a mutant, not someone being possessed by a supernatural entity, but it was obvious that Taji didn't feel the same way. Maybe telling her that story had been a mistake, Jean thought.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." Jean reassured her once more, giving Taji's hands a little squeeze. At least she had stopped crying. Some role-model she was being that day, a part of her criticized. "There are a lot of powerful mutants at the mansion to make sure no one gets hurt. You're luckier than I was, Taji. What you have is just an amazing gift, not a monster trying to use you to create chaos. We all struggle to tame our powers in the beginning... but I will respect your decision if you want to stay here." Jean got distracted by that second voice again and this time felt a pang of fear bubble inside her chest.

"Did you hear that just now?" She asked the girl, to know where they were standing. "Do you always hear that voice?" Jean wondered aloud.

Jean contained a sigh. She had heard so many teenage mutants say that through the years. It was understandable, of course. She had been lucky to have a family who loved her no matter what, but many of her friends weren't as fortunate and she had seen them suffer first hand while growing up. There were so many fronts she could tackle those statements from, Jean actually had to take a moment to decide.

"None of us asked for our abilities, Taij." Jean said softly. There was sadness in her voice but she wasn't offended in the slightest. "Not those who were born mutants like me or most of the teachers, nor those created by Mr.Sinister like you, Nate and so many others..." She wasn't sure Taji would have seen the man around the mansion. He spent a lot of time there, but probably didn't interact with the students a lot. "The X-Men and I were once Mr.Sinister's captives and I know the terrible things he's capable of... Mr.Sinister treats both humans and mutants as lab rats. Calling yourself a freak is one way of accepting that fate for yourself." Jean said softly but determined. "But you can fight him, Taji. You can accept your new self, embrace who you are now and live to make sure the likes of him don't do to others what he did to you." She offered as a possibility.

"Nothing?" Jean asked slightly puzzled. "There was a voice in your head just now saying that it only wanted to protect you, that you have nothing to fear..." A part of Jean feared the girl would thing she was making it up, so she telepatically forwarded what she had picked up all three times to the girl, so she could judge for herself. In doing so, she automatically included her own feelings of surprise and the fact that it reminded her of someone else who could hear voices like that.